Fantôme

Insomnia.

Makes me feel like this.

Nightmares and dreamscapes.

Dark smoke in my bed next to me stroking my hair.

Was I dreaming?

Who was it?

Someone that no longer walks this earth or a living soul coming to visit?

Felt so real.

Before that fights in the night over champagne, money, and love.

Old men chasing me.

I just wanted to play.

Dance.

Laugh.

Wondering where he was, wanting him by my side.

Always by my side.

Then I forgot everything and became new again.

Erased and left white.

Scanning through faces I didn't stop.

All I really wanted was that dark smokey shadow again that had no form. 

That spoke through touch...caressed with no rush.

"Please don't stop."

Smoothing my hair next to me.

With each touch I felt more and more loved.

Safe.

In the right place.

"Are you alive or dead?"

No answer.

That touch was so familiar.

I woke up exhausted.

Like I had something wonderful. Then lost it.